We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
