Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
Randomize
