K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
