Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
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