my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Randomize
