vagina is talking i cant
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
