My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
Me. At least after what I've been through.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Randomize
