I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
