do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
we're so committed to being not committed
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