He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
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