I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
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