my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
