yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
