Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
