HIV tests are more positive than that guy
saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
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