we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
