we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
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