A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
how drunk are you?
Several
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
