if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
Randomize
