she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
