quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
Randomize
