Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
Randomize
