Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
