My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
