i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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