I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Randomize
