And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
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