So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
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