I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
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