You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
