Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
Randomize
