OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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