quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
Randomize
