There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
Randomize
