Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
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