Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
Randomize
