I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
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