Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Randomize
