I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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