in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
There are leaves in my underwear?
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