dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize
