My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
Randomize
