Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
Randomize
