Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
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