i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
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