did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Randomize
