you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
