this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
Randomize
