found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
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