i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
Randomize
